Chapter 2: Part 2

Cyrus had a brother. He was the one I really grew up with, I'd see him every weekend, as he lived with our blood relatives. We saw each other's progress as we grew old. His name was Carlo.

They were blood brothers, and should be really close, but they didn't see each other. Carlo grew up without a biological mom, and his biological father was never there. The same story, somewhat, over again, only it would end up differently.

He'd come over on the weekends, I mean Carlo. I've no really young fond memories with him. He's family, and every little bit of company was somewhat enjoyable. He was after all, our age. However, the fact that he grew up away from all of us, he did grow up quite differently. He lived among the streets of Paco, Manila. While we all went to Ateneo, and nearer schools, he went to St. Anthony, we never knew his friends, he never knew ours. The only contact we had with any of his networks is through stories. It was crazy...

Eventually, he stopped coming home, we saw less and less of him. Eventually, he came once in a while, to get his allowance, stay for a day or two, then leave again. He remained in the city, but we didn't see much of him.

The bigger problems started when he and I got into college, approximately at the same time... His life then changed a lot... He never used to like coming home, not even for a while... He changed his entire look. He grew his hair really long, or had it styled in such a way that he looked like rocker. He colored his hair red, blonde and other unnatural colors. He obtained a tattoo on a very visible area, the neck. I don't know what happened to him after that, I don't know what happened to our relationship with him after that. Now, I wonder what happened to him, out of worry, and out of love for family. He and I had a brotherly kind of love as well. We treated him like a brother, but now he's lost, and I don't know how to find him. Facebook isn't so reliable. It just makes us, in the family worry. I hope nothing bad has happened... I pray that everything will be alright soon.

Last I heard he was looking for a school to go to, he was on and off working different jobs. I hear not even the foster mother sees him. I don't know how he's dealing with himself, but I'd like to have a reunion with him and his brother. My brother and myself, we were brothers to them, and as their brothers, we'd like to help them out, in anyway we can.

Chapter 2: Part 1

I sort of remember that New Year's Eve. If I remember right, I spent it with Cyrus and Carlo. Two of the cousins I always treasured. I think this is the year we stayed at a hotel, but I can't be extremely certain.

I'm more or less sure that I remember this year being the year I spent with my cousins. Cyrus was hated by our uncle. He has a history, and it wasn't so pretty. He lived in Pampanga for the most of his life, and he was somewhat neglected there. Let me tell his story.

He didn't grow up with us. He grew up in the province, where we didn't know what he was up to. Growing, I remember seeing him only a couple of times. But nonetheless, we all know the story.

Their mom left them at their young ages, and they didn't really know her. They lived with their dad for a short time, however, they were taken in by my grandfather, and since then, he shouldered a lot of the expense for having to raise them. That was until, Aunt Christine, my uncle's ex-girlfriend, took Cyrus and raised him there.

However, blood is thicker than water. Aunt Christine had her own family to provide for, thus, Cyrus wasn't given the proper attention as a child, and I assume than since then, he didn't really grow up right. He was a mess going through his latter years. So, for the most of his teen years, he spent with our family. Aunt Christine sent her back because he was being a hard-head. Life didn't change much for Cyrus in the city. It may have even gotten worse.

I remember him doing a lot of things wrong. He probably just wants the attention. I remember him taking my cousin's GameBoy. I remember the times he would come to class late, even if we brought him early. I even remember the time he snuck a cigarette. I remember the times he wouldn't come home. This led to a lot of things. He was beaten up, constantly screamed at. He went through things, he bore profanities, punches, and hits, he even had a black-eye once. I never knew how he could have taken all that, and still come out smiling in front of our uncle. A sly smile, while looking at his feet. It was as if he enjoyed the beatings, and all the heart-ache.

I would understand though. He never really knew his mother, he didn't grow up with his father. Maybe he actually liked being yelled at, maybe it made him feel like he was cared for. After all, the silence of no father screaming at you is deafening, especially for a growing child. A child needs a dad and a mom to grow up better. I can only imagine what it was like for Cyrus. I don't think I'll ever forget that smile, when I saw him take a hit from my uncle. The smile he had as he nursed the black eye.

Going back to the past. He studied in a smaller school, near my own, somewhere along Katipunan Avenue. HAMS. I was with my father and Cyrus when he was enrolled. He was never there when we'd pick him up. He would always come home late in a taxi cab. I don't know where he went, we were always worried. And my worry was two-fold. One, because of his safety, and two, because what my uncle and grandma have to say again. Poor Cyrus. I wish he'd just grown up better, even slightly. It would've been better for him...

If that wasn't troublesome enough... His brother, Carlo, was somehow similar...

Chapter 1: Part 5

I eventually gave up on the girls, eventually focused on life. I mean my life: which was basically golf and school. I haven't started playing basketball yet at this point in life. I was somewhat lazier, a little bit fatter, a little less fit, and well... a lot more imperfect. But I didn't really mind, 'cause life was perfect for me. I had no unusual problems yet.

I started to play the guitar eventually this school year. Ryan taught me how. I'll never forget what how it happened though. I was asking him to teach me to play, while we were walking the halls of Ateneo High School. We ended up in the cafeteria, and I will never forget what he taught me. He played a chord, and said: "this is the first chord you will ever learn." I won't forget this time. This was around November I think. Around half the school year left. This made me so excited, because I asked for my own guitar as a Christmas present. It was given. My friend, AJ, and I had almost immediately planned to start a band. We were planning everything already, but it never got a chance to push through.

All I started with was chordfind.com, guitar chords and tabs. Of course I was taught how to read. It was crazy, but it was fun. Eventually when you get the hang of everything, it all becomes enjoyable. This was a great way to "end" year 2005. I started 2006 with new knowledge, and I had left all the drama behind me. However, little did I know that 2006 will be even harder. Uh-oh....

To be continued...

Chapter 1: Part 4

Nina H.

I never really got to know her family name until I was in college. For the purposes of this story, let's call her Nina H. There was another Nina in that class, so we need to distinguish.

She was in a lot of ways different than I was. But that time when I liked Sab, and this time. They felt the same way, so when nostalgia hits me. I feel exactly the same way, maybe because they both happened in my freshman year. But the way I ended everything with Nina was horrible.

I was trying to text her, but she never replied. Everyone knew that I liked her, including her. Ryan just tried to tell me that he knew stuff. This story would end badly. Marvin told me at the time that Nina had a crush on me. So, I tried reaching out, and hoping for something, something good to come out of the feelings I had for her. So, for weeks, I tried to text her, I tried calling, anything to contact her, but she never picked up. She didn't reply to my texts, not returning my calls, I knew something had to be wrong. I looked her on the social networking sites, but I didn't know how to spell her family name, so I relied on mutual friends and connections. But nothing good came out of my trying to reach her, until... the incident.

I felt so betrayed. Ryan just didn't want to say anything, I'm sure he had his reasons. But, from this point on, Marvin, I knew was no longer my friend. He was a fucking bastard. He may burn in hell now for all I care. What happened? Ryan informed me that Nina felt the absolute opposite of what Marvin had said. My sources say that Nina disliked me. I never found out why, I never held it against her, she did the right thing by avoiding me, I couldn't take the hint. How could I, when Marvin said otherwise? I trusted, I though we were friends. This put a hole in my heart, but somehow, I love Ryan, he found a way to cheer me up. And, Ryan will always be one of the greatest people I'll ever know. Too bad, I don't see him much now, but I try to keep in touch.

Moving on... again. Sigh.

Chapter 1: Part 3

Sabrina Lee.

I remember her being lots of things. She was my former crush. She was the one-faced girl. She was the one at the previous soiree, who announced Marlo's crush to the entire world. She was the one who had a mole on her face. I don't remember her well, after all, I only had a few memories with her. Memories, I dare not throw away. Somehow, they made me who I am today.

I remember the people who had nothing better to do in our classroom. They'd take my phone, and read what I had to say, our conversations. We were both the same network, so texting was cheap. And it was one golf game that had actually drawn a deeper, well somewhat deeper, attraction for her. I was in touch with her through the duration of the entire more than four hours. I had gotten to know her better, but some part of me kinda thought that she didn't want to speak with me at the time.

I guess, everyone knew that I had a crush on her, but not everyone knew what was really going on. I remember relatives trying to get a look at her pictures on Friendster at the time. I remember my classmates reading, out loud, our messages to each other.

"Ininterview amputa!!" How will I ever forget those words? Right now, I could care less, but at the time, I was younger, and all I wanted to do was kick that bitch right in the face. He just never knows when to shut the fuck up.

That was pretty much the turning point. So, I had to let her go, all I did from then on was greeted her on her birthday, but that was it. I just dropped it and gave up, moved on...

Nina... Hmm... I wonder what she's like now?

Hmm.... Nina... H.

Chapter 1: Part 2

The school year was going by fast. I couldn't even tell what was happening. It never really occurred to me at this point that I was going to be leaving high school pretty soon, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's go to the middle of my freshman year...

It was a very, very confusing time in my life... I was thirteen and all my social life was at this point was well... movie with the guys once in a while. Hangin' out with them from time to time, computer games and whatnot. I was going out to meet girls, for the first time in large groups. My other girl friends were from golf, or village people, friends of cousins, and well... I met them through people. How was I supposed to go up to one now?

We were in Leo's house. Watching some videos, playing video games, normal thirteen year-old stuff. There was pizza, so, we had a bite, not realizing we didn't have any tooth brushes, and the pizza was cheese and garlic, in short, our breaths were gonna smell. Uh-oh.

We had to brush teeth with our hands, not realizing that mouthwash was one solution.

About an hour later, we were heading for the venue. I was nervous.

There were a lot of activities, games, food, music. I didn't know how to act, I just tried to get even a little bit attention. There were some girls that caught my attention. There were some girls I was never going to forget, though they won't remember me. There were some girls I never talked to, and some that I will never, ever remember.

All I remember was that there was this girl I had in mind. Her name was Nina... something. I forget her last name. We were playing charades, and I was a total freak. I didn't know what to do or say, I was fucking nervous.

We got "Valentine's Day" as our topic. While she, nicely, made a suggestion on what we should do, I silently, in an aggressive tone, said: "we're doing that already!" Wow, what a first impression! Epic fail, am I right? That wouldn't end well.

Towards the end, I asked for her phone number, and, well.... she told me to ask from someone else. I could clearly tell she wanted nothing to do with me, but my hard head wouldn't allow me to think otherwise. I retrieved her number from my friend, Ryan. The day did not end as I wanted it to, but I remember meeting someone here that I didn't know I'd run into ever again, Maia. Oh, and I don't remember if I'd asked for it, but I got someone else's number.

Her name was Sab. Hmm...

Chapter 1: Part 1

"Justin, gising na." Those were the first words I had to wake up to on the first day of high school. I was but fourteen years old... "It's time for school."

I made my way into the shower. It was like sleep cloaked over me, it was only 5:37 in the morning. I always had to wake up so early in this home. It was thirty minutes away from school, and class normally started at 7:45.

I wasn't feeling so well that day. You can guess what happened. Good thing it was orientation day.

As I stepped into the classroom the following week (I was gone that long), I didn't know what to expect. I only remembered the beating of drums during the play we watched... Every beat sent a wave of pain through my head. It was like it was going to blow up.

I could recognize familiar faces, elementary classmates. I remember some guys, long-time friends that had followed me into the same high school. It was time to meet my teachers. They all seemed nice at first. Then the school officials, well, they were strict, they needed to be.

Fast forward... I was excited to get on with the school year. New-found friends, a few older friends of mine, upperclassmen that were willing to guide me, a more than pretty teacher, what else could I ask for? I've had the school year, at least the beginning on track. That was until the first soiree I'd ever go to. I'll get to that soon enough.